2008 September

Do you have 2 rulebooks?

At the risk of sounding self-serving, I still can’t believe how much my coach has helped me in the last few months! I have a new-found sense of clarity and purpose about my coaching practice, am working smarter than ever, and feel like I have at least five big revelations in every coaching session. You’d think I would be a true believer in coaching given that its my profession. And I am, for other people!

Isn’t it funny, the way an otherwise perfectly sane person can (and often does) have two totally different sets of rules – one for ourselves, one for others?

Its a bit embarrassing to admit how resistant I was to hiring a coach.

My own process gave me a renewed sense of empathy for my own clients. “Its too expensive!” I complained for months about the cost of hiring my coach, who’s rates aren’t even especially steep for the coaching field. And the thing is, coaching IS expensive! Many coaches charge more per hour than therapists. I do have a master’s degree, and I believe my time and energy is worth what I charge and I help my clients get results, but still…I realized that both I and my clients are absolutely justified in this opinion.

The second objection I had was all about ego, both sides of the coin: “I don’t really need a coach. What can she do for me that I can’t do for myself, but just haven’t because I’m too busy/lazy/its not that important anyway?” I went from “I’m too smart to need help” to “I’m too lame to need help” to “oh, just forget it” (avoidance) in no time at all. Can you relate to this bermuda triangle?

Then when I finally got ready to make the investment, and got clear (and courageous) enough to hire her, on the recommendation of trusted friends and colleagues, I still found myself in resistance. I’d block out time for “coaching homework” on my calendar, instead of writing down the tasks and planning that I had promised myself I would get to that week. I told myself that what I was up to was “working with a coach.”

This felt less threatening than “I’m clarifying who I want to work with, what problem(s) I help them solve and what my business model will be.” But that’s closer to the truth.

Stay tuned for my next post, where I’ll reveal more about my clarified niche and ideal coaching clients!



Doh!

I had an “aha” about blogging the other day, thanks in part to Mark Silver and Zen Habits. You could call it more of a “doh!,” since I think lots of other bloggers understood this way before me. :)

I’d been believing that I had to have a fully-formed, original and watertight idea in order to blog. This is kind of like going into an important conversation knowing exactly what you’re going to say, and in your nervousness, forgetting to stay open to the other person’s energy and contributions. Plus, its stressful, and makes writing for my blog feel like a chore.

I’d like my blog to be a place where I can be truly authentic about where I am with my coaching practice and to share recent insights and ideas, regardless of how “untidy” I may sound. That’s where the real juice is, right?

Yes, AND, it requires more vulnerability and candor from me. Not the easiest road to hoe, when you’re a solopreneur who wants to look like she’s at the top of her game.

But I think it will make blogging more fun for me and more interesting for you, so stay tuned!

ps. in the spirit of candor and vulnerability, here’s a picture of me playing with one of my favorite people, my long-time friend’s super-fun baby, Arlo.



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