At the risk of sounding self-serving, I still can’t believe how much my coach has helped me in the last few months! I have a new-found sense of clarity and purpose about my coaching practice, am working smarter than ever, and feel like I have at least five big revelations in every coaching session. You’d think I would be a true believer in coaching given that its my profession. And I am, for other people!
Isn’t it funny, the way an otherwise perfectly sane person can (and often does) have two totally different sets of rules – one for ourselves, one for others?
Its a bit embarrassing to admit how resistant I was to hiring a coach.
My own process gave me a renewed sense of empathy for my own clients. “Its too expensive!” I complained for months about the cost of hiring my coach, who’s rates aren’t even especially steep for the coaching field. And the thing is, coaching IS expensive! Many coaches charge more per hour than therapists. I do have a master’s degree, and I believe my time and energy is worth what I charge and I help my clients get results, but still…I realized that both I and my clients are absolutely justified in this opinion.
The second objection I had was all about ego, both sides of the coin: “I don’t really need a coach. What can she do for me that I can’t do for myself, but just haven’t because I’m too busy/lazy/its not that important anyway?” I went from “I’m too smart to need help” to “I’m too lame to need help” to “oh, just forget it” (avoidance) in no time at all. Can you relate to this bermuda triangle?
Then when I finally got ready to make the investment, and got clear (and courageous) enough to hire her, on the recommendation of trusted friends and colleagues, I still found myself in resistance. I’d block out time for “coaching homework” on my calendar, instead of writing down the tasks and planning that I had promised myself I would get to that week. I told myself that what I was up to was “working with a coach.”
This felt less threatening than “I’m clarifying who I want to work with, what problem(s) I help them solve and what my business model will be.” But that’s closer to the truth.
Stay tuned for my next post, where I’ll reveal more about my clarified niche and ideal coaching clients!
1 response to "Do you have 2 rulebooks?"
October 7, 2008 at 1:25 pm -
Hi Jill!
I am extremely interested in learning more about your experience. It sounds amazing… and the triangle you describe resonates for me (as I’m sure it does for others). It’s about time for me to hire my own coach, and hearing more about your process would be beneficial. I’ll be in touch soon… I hope you are settling into fall and enjoying life!