I have been getting migraines since I was about eight years old. Intense throbbing pain blooms on the inside of my right eyebrow, light and loud noise are suddenly unbearable, as are strong smells. Sometimes the pills work but make me sleepy and woozy, sometimes they don’t.
I’ve had to cancel a lot of plans on friends, family and work colleagues, disappoint and frustrate a lot of people over the years. My partners have often felt helpless, exasperated, and convinced there was a cure – something we could do, or that I could do, to make them go away.
I have been sure too, seeking help from pretty much every medical tradition and modality, including pills, needles, rubbing, cracking, tinctures, pressure, stinky herbs, patches, devices, talk therapy, meditation, traction and combinations of the above.
I continue to hope that I will find a solution, but I’m tired of fighting. Tired of thinking of my body as a problem to be solved, as a mysterious machine that I have not yet figured out. Tired of feeling angry, helpless, believing that I’m being invaded by some external alien force every time I feel the telltale throb in my eyebrow.
When they’re feeling truly stuck, I tell my clients that the most radical, useful thing to do might be to accept the truth of the situation. And when my brave, amazing clients are able to do this, I’ve seen them find the strength and courage to go after what they’re really meant to do and be. Incredible power is released when we tell the truth, when we can bring gentle awareness to what is actually happening, when we stop fighting.
Of course, it’s a lot easier to coach someone else to do this than to do it yourself. I tell my clients this too.
I will not be taking to my bed for the rest of my life, but I will be resting when I need to, and accepting that that I am a whole package, and that the very qualities that make me a good coach and an excellent dog-mom and partner may also give me migraines.
I’d love to hear what you’re working on accepting, and what power you suspect might be released as you gently embrace the truth.